Losing Your Hair [Glen Burtnik]

Losing Your Hair
Written by Glen Burtnik
Lead Vocals by Glen Burtnik

Well, Daddy's been concerned about his physical condition.
It's got him speculating on his personal nutrition.
It's caused his self-esteem to hit an all time low
And he inquires about what's ailing him everywhere he goes.
He calls in on the talk show and he asked his closest friends.
He went to see the doctor, this is what he said:

"Daddy, you're losing your hair,
You're only losing your hair.
There's a great big part getting wider by the year.
Well, you can fiddle with the middle to make up for what ain't there,
But Daddy, Daddy, you're losing your hair."

Daddy got a letter in the U.S. mail
'Bout a magic potion lotion guaranteed to grow hair.
Now he didn't hesitate, he sent his money in,
The he paced the floor until the day a package came for him.
He followed the directions and he rubbed some in on top,
And day and night he rubbed so hard till what was left fell out.

Daddy, you're losing your hair,
You're only losing your hair.
Well, well, well, there's a spot on the top and it's spreading from ear to ear.
No need to snap, don't have to pout. no one's stepping on it
Cause Daddy, Daddy, you're losing your hair.

He walked into the wig store and he bought himself a piece.
They tied it to his head and he walked out on the street.
They told him to come back every so often for the maintenance.
As time went by he let it slide, he didn't have the patience.
There was trouble in the area when the monsoon came.
He never tightened up his wig so it up and run away!

Daddy, you're losing your hair.
You're only losing your hair.
There's a gap on the cap and it stretches from here to there.
Well, you can put a mop on top, not too much going on up there.
Daddy, you're losing, losing your hair.

Daddy, don't you realize we all don't mind the change.
Sister admits she's used to it, it doesn't look so strange.
Your son, the skinhead, thinks it would look better bald and bare,
And as soon as Momma's breasts are redone, you won't ever care
About losing your hair,
Only losing your hair.

Well, there's a great big part getting wider by the year.
Oh, you could fiddle with the middle to make up for what's not there,
But, Daddy, you're losing
Daddy, you're losing
Daddy, you're losing
Nothing's gonna grow, it just ain't happening upstairs.
Losing your hair.

Interpretation

As men age, their hair often thins and then the part starts to widen until they are bald on top. They may try to comb over for awhile. You can buy hair tonics to try and get it to grow back, but don't overdo it, or it can make things worse. Toupees are expensive and require regular maintenance, and they can slide out of place or blow off in a strong wind if not fitted correctly. The could also just shave it off, like the skinheads. What they often don't realize is that their family doesn't care so much, and they look just fine to the people that love them.  Men aren't alone in their vanity. Women will get breast implants or reduction surgery, which is an even bigger deal.