British Teeth [The Falling Wallendas featuring Todd Sucherman]

British Teeth
Written by Allen Keller and Scott Bennett

Lead Vocals by Scott Bennett

We buried the body of our favorite mate
In an empty piano crate
In a purple sweater and green wool cap
He looked like an eggplant dressed like that

The captain recited a eulogy
And lowered the sacrifice into the sea
Took out our silk cuts and had us a smoke
And drank a toast to our sinking boat

Death you cannot cheat
Death you cannot cheat
Unless you're rotten as British teeth

The hole in the boat continued to feed
It guzzled the unbottled briny sea
Captain said to lighten the load at any cost
But the ship kept taking on more than she lost

Death you cannot cheat
Death you cannot cheat
Unless you're rotten as British teeth

The boat disappeared into the sea
Swallowed by the meal on which she did feed
Captain stood on his crew submerged
To be plucked from the heavens by a helicopter

Interpretation

A sordid tale of a ship going under while taking on water.  The sailors were thrown overboard one by one to lighten the load, because they couldn't bail the water fast enough.  The captain, traditionally staying aboard to go down with the ship, manages to stay on board long enough to be rescued. Not a martyr but rather a rascal who is as "rotten as British teeth" which have a reputation in western nations of being bad, because the culture focuses on healthy teeth rather than good looking teeth adjusted by braces or whitened by special toothpaste.