Captain Beefheart [The Falling Wallendas featuring Todd Sucherman]

Captain Beefheart
Written by Allen Keller and Scott Bennett

Lead Vocals by Scott Bennett

I wrote a letter to the New York rocker back in '82
About the CIA and Vatican's plan to silence you
I stole your address from a dealer at a Soho gallery
And hitched a ride to the Mojave
To find your silver Argosy

Pleased to meet you
Captain Beefheart
You're my hero
Captain Beefheart

They dragged me out of my bed
Into an unmarked police car
They tortured me at the Mount Sinai
Memorial abbatoir

My mother tried to seduce me
To find out what I wrote
But I floated out of the window
On Zoot Horn's long lean note

Pleased to meet you
Captain Beefheart
You're my hero
Captain Beefheart

And if the music is a sin
Baptize me in the water
With the radio
Plugged in

Interpretation

Captain Beefheart retired as a musician in 1982 after a long career as an eclectic singer, songwriter, and performer.   In 1997 the BBC released a documentary entitled The Artist Formerly Known as Captain Beefheart that may have inspired this song, which imagines that someone writes to warn him of a plot by the CIA and Vatican to silence him, which may have led to his retirement. The protagonist then hitches a ride to the Mojave Desert, tracking down the retired musician in his silver Airstream Agosy trailer. Dragged out of bed by agents and taken to Mount Sinai Memorial Hospital (referred to as an abbatoir (slaughterhouse) to be tortured for information (possibly treated for a mental illness?), he doesn't crack, so his mother tries to sweet talk him into revealing what was in the letter. Instead, he retreats into thoughts of a beautiful riff by guitarist Zoot Horn, content in his music. If they insist on killing him for loving music, then they can electrocute him in a bathtub with a radio.