Bam [Glen Burtnik]

Bam
Words and Music by Glen Burtnik
Vocals by Glen Burtnik

You scratched and clawed your way until you rose to this
You screwed the powerful and finished with a kiss
Walking among the giants
Those measly weasels who would treat you like you're ass was divine

An endless cavalcade a egocentric clowns
Each with their secret wish to kick you when your down
But you worked the best agenda
You put the pen to paper waitin' for the fireworks to fly

And then Bam!
You're everywhere
From the New York Times to Vanity Fair

It's a scam
You better kiss the ring
Takin' everyone, takin' everything

Cuz you can
Cos you copped a groove
And everybody's waitin' on your every move

You're the man
With a trophy gal
And you're sitting on top of the goddamn world

You think it's funny squeezing money into fame
You're shaking hands; you're kicking ass; you're playing games
They'll want the TV movie
You'll sell the rights, make sure the story paints you glamorous

Then Bam!
You're everywhere
From Rolling Stone to Marie Claire

It's a scam
How they kiss the ring
Takin' everyone for everything

Cuz you can
Cos you've turned the screws
And half the planet waits for you to bust a move

You're the man
With the silicone girl
And you're sitting on top of your own damn world
Yes, you are

(Somebody get that)

Oh hey hey hey

Won't need to eat; won't need to drink; won't need to sleep
Someone will find you and they'll pray your soul to keep
Your blood will trickle over
But you know your fans will hold a candlelight vigil for you

Bam!
You're everywhere
From Jerry Springer to Hollywood Squares

And then damn
You won't be anywhere
You'll just be dropped off the planet, vanished into thin air

It's a drag (too bad)
They'll auction off your clothes
And the best kept secret is that
Everybody knows it's a scam (you're the man)
With a strung out girl
And you're the statue at the top of your empty little world

Interpretation

You're just like many in the world of Hollywood who have made endless sacrifices to get the chance at fame and fortune, including sleeping with someone just to get a part. The contracts are written in confusing legal language with loopholes that benefit the agents and lawyers, but you sign the contract anyway to get your chance. Suddenly you're a household name, with feature articles in the prestigious New York Times newspaper and Vanity Fair magazine. You better make the most of it, because it won't last. You have to kiss the ring of the man who's really in control. You have a beautiful girl on your arm that looks great in pictures. Eventually you might sell the rights to a TV movie about your life story and ensure it puts you in a good light. In contrast, you stop taking care of your self until someone finds you near death, so they pray for your recovery and your fans hold a candlelight vigil as they pray for your recovery. One day you suddenly find yourself falling out of favor and featured on the Jerry Springer Show as a spectacle or trying to reclaim some notoriety on Hollywood Squares or another game show. Eventually nobody remembers you and all the money is spent.